‎In August I transitioned my life and everything that I knew as familiar, to a new place and a new location. When first arriving in Boone NC I was in awe at the beauty that surrounded me. Excitement bellowed from my soul, and I happily embraced my "new life." However a few weeks in, I found myself questioning what the Lord's purpose and direction for my life would be in this unfamiliar place. It was upon this questioning, that fear began to take over my thoughts and consume my heart.

Through this fear, it seemed as though the only conversations that the Lord and I were having consisted of my questioning and fretting about where he had placed me. I was afraid, alone, and unsure. But it seemed that through all of the uncertainty, the Lord just kept reminding me of his greatness and power, and how we are not called to a life of living in fear- but rather we are called to live a fearless life.

2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline." This verse reminded me that although I am afraid at times, there is so much power in his name--- so much love for us in his heart. And with this love, we can embrace the day fearlessly and confidently walk the steps that he has layed out infront of us.

Be Strong and Courageous.

As the summer comes to a close, I find my self nervous at my un-seen adventures to come. This afternoon I leave for Appalachian State University. I leave my home, the beach, to travel to my new endeavor, the mountain. Although I am thrilled about the scenic atmosphere and excited about classes, the last few days have been an emotional roller coaster. I am not afraid of my classes or the people I will meet. What I am afraid most of, is missing the lives of the people I am closest too.
When I was making my decision to go 5 hours away from home for school, I considered several aspects. However, it seemed like all of the reasons for me to stay came down to one common theme: I was comfortable. AS much as I wanted to stay in my comfort zone, where my friends and church supported me, I could not help but feel as though there was this urge from the Lord for me to break away. So I made my decision... I was to become a member of the graduate class of 2014 at ASU.

Through out the summer, I knew that I would have to say goodbye; that I would have to leave; that i would ultimately have to "Grow Up." I just didn't think it would be this hard. As I have spent time over this past week packing my room up, there was a sadness that encompassed me. A little voice of doubt that seemed to fill my head echoing phrases such as, "You made a mistake." "Your going to miss out." "They are going to move on." Hearing this doubt over and over contributed to my already overwhelmed emotions and mindset. Knowing that these voices were from the enemy, I took out my Bible. For some reason I felt the Lord urging me to read Joshua. Now, I have read the book a few times and was certain that nothing new would stand out at me or would be taken from it, but nonetheless I obeyed and opened to chapter one.

Reading the introduction about Joshua, I was captivated by the Lord's certainty of his leadership ability. Being Moses's right hand man, Joshua entered many uncertain scenarios with huge faith and little questioning of God's Purpose. As I indulged into chapter one, I suddenly became very aware of why the Lord wanted me to read Joshua. In verse 7 of chapter one, the Lord spoke to Joshua saying, "Be strong and Courageous." The chapter continues this pattern of encouragement through 1:9 where the Lord tells Joshua," Have I not commanded you? be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

BAM! It was as if the Lord said to me, "WAKE UP KATHRYN! Dont you understand, I am with you whereever you go. There is no room for fear nor no need for it. I have a plan and purpose for you, even though you may not see it yet. So be STRONG and COURAGEOUS and Trust me!!!!"
What a wake up call right? So although I am sad to leave and afraid to miss out on certain aspects of my life in Wilmington, I am called upon to be strong and courageous just as Joshua was through out his whole life.

Who is God?

Although I have been a Christian for most of my life, there has always existed an uncertainty on the character of God. Growing up in Sunday school, God was presented to me as "Jesus Daddy." Although this is a powerful and true statement, to a five year old this statement was way over my head.As I have continued to grow in my faith, there seemed to be a gray area on who God said he was. AS such, I decided to study the character of God more closely. In my life, the enemy has always attacked me on two things: Who God said I was, and who God said He was.

In Exodus 3:14 God says to Moses, "I am who I am." While this seems simple enough, I have come to discover that God is says He is the following:

God is our Lord: In historical perspective, a Lord was someone who ruled over the land. They were the people who were responsible for protection, decision making, and guidance over the people.When examining the character of God, All of these qualities are matched in his character and exemplified in his Reign. Unlike the era in history where Lords ruled temporarily, Gods reign is forever... he is our Lord Forever.... Our protector... our ruler

God is Almighty- It used to be that when I thought of the word "Almighty" I though of Jesus with really strong muscles. Although this may be true (I personally don't know I have never seen him...) the word "Almighty" in the dictionary is annotated as meaning "unlimited power." --- AS in, God HAS UNLIMITED POWER!!! He can do ANYTHING!

God is our Friend- Isn't it nice to know that when everyone else betrays us, when ever we feel lonely or forgotten, that we have a friend in Jesus? As cheesy as that is, it is the truth. God is our friend. He doesn't care about what name brands we wear or how we fix our hair, He just wants to hang out with you and love you and be friends with you.

God is our Father- This is a biggy. I have been fortunate enough to grow up in a home where my daddy loves me. But I am not ignorant to the reality that not all fathers share the same greatness that my earthly father does. But we as Christians do all share our heavenly father---- one who is a king- thus making us Royalty-- one who will not abandon, abuse, neglect, of hate. He is gently, and loving, and wants to give us our inheritance.

God is our Husband- In the movie Jerry McGuire, there is a scene where Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger exchange the always cheesy line of "you complete me." While this may seem romantic and iconic, it is the farthest depiction of what love and reality should be. Two incomplete people should not come together in love hoping to be fulfilled by the love of one another-- Instead, they each individually need to come to the realization that God is Love-- and ultimately the only one who can satisfy and complete us. So turn to your Husband, that is your heavenly husband, and ask him to complete you so that he may bless your marriage later.

NO FEAR

2 Samuel 22: 18-20 says, " He rescued me from my strong enemy, from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support. He brought me to a broad place, he rescued me, because he delighted in me."
As I approach graduation, I find my life in transition. I am going away to college and venturing into a world new and unfamiliar. Without the security or foundation of my family, I nervously enter into a stage of my life that may cause pain and some discomfort. I must admit, for a time, I was afraid. I was afraid of being alone. Afraid of the distance. Afraid of myself and my ability to say "no". Afraid of loosing relationships. It seemed that wherever I let my mind wander too, the more fearful I became. But something I have come to realize is that living a life of fear and worry was not how God intended for us to live. As 2 Samuel displays, He promises to rescue us. He rescues us because he DELIGHTS in us. This word does not mean "kind of loves us" or "tolerably likes us" but instead conveys the truth that he is filled with so much joy just being apart of our lives. We should not live in fear, but in affirmation of his love and his ability to rescue us. He Saves, because he loves.
Although we face trial, he promises to be there with us, carrying us when we can not find our feet to walk.

A life that is pollen Filled

Spring is in the air- and with that, so is the pollen.
It seems as though you go to bed one evening and everything is clean and shiny, and the next morning you wake up to a mask of yellow blanketing your white Ford Explorer. Pollen. Pollen is the worst part about spring. It is the cause of allergies, frustration and uncleanliness. No matter how many times you wash your car one week, it will be covered with yellow powder the next. Pollen. Is there any way to get rid of it?

Recently I went to a night of worship and prayer on campus at UNCW, it was here that the idea of pollen was explained to me in a different way. The speaker illustrated how Spring is such a marvelous time of year, full of new life and new perspectives. Pollen can be signifying of our walks and the sin that surrounds our lives. One day we are clean.. and the next we feel blanketed by the uncleanliness of our actions or thoughts. Sin, much like pollen, seems suffocating; it is hard to breathe through. It is hard to wake up in the morning and see anything other than our yellow cars, and crusty lives. How are we to escape sin if it seems to blanket our everyday? The speaker went on to illustrate that all though our sin seems blanketing and suffocating, it is washed away with the rain. Jesus, the son of God, sacrificed his life in order to save our own. It was then, that the true "rain shower" of goodness happened. The yellow, suffocating, hard to breathe through sin that envelopes our every thought and prayer, is restored and refreshed just as the rain washes away the pollen.

Yes, we still sin. Yes, one day we feel clean and worthy, and the next dirty and unkept. But just as the Spring rain washes away the pollen, so does the Lord wash away our sin.

Isn't it wonderful that we no longer need to live a life enveloped by pollen, but instead have the freedom to enjoy and dance in the rain of God's forgiveness?

Letting go

In a conversation that I had with a friend over the past few days, I stumbled accross too common of a scenario that Christians are faced with. My friend was telling me about her desire to be closer with God. Recently having stepped off the Christian "path," she found herself wanting to encounter God more often and to better strengthen her relationship with him. In one particular area of her life, she has found that she is putting something, or someone, in front of God and realizes that such a situation must change. However, when I asked her what was keeping her from surrendering all to HIM, she responded by saying that, "I am afriad to give it all to God, Because I am afraid he is going to make me do or get rid of something that I am not willing to let go of yet."

Listening to her talk about this too frequent of an occurance, I was reminded how often Christians put other things in front of God. Furthermore, it reminded me of how weak the flesh is and how desperately we need to give God control over our lives. By being afraid to grant God full control, we are limiting the work that God is trying to do in our lives. This does not always mean that we are going to like what he has to say, but it does mean that we need to get on a personal level with God, trusting that he has our best interest at heart. Why is it so difficult to do this? Bececause the enemy is so desperately wanting to maintain the grasp and hold on ourlives. He does not want us to give it to God, because ultimately that means that he no longer can influence our decisions and actions. But don't you see the necessity to give God control? The Enemy is fighting hard to gain as much of a foot hold as he can before his reign is over. DON"T LET HIM! God deperately wants to carry our worries and concerns on his shoulders. So allow him too. Do not cave to the enemy's polluted thoughts of having to maintain control--- because life is not ours to define anyways.

A Mighty Fortress

So for some reason, when contemplating what to write about, this song kept on popping up in my mind. The message is so simple and yet so overlooked. I encourage you to dwell on it and really think about what it is communicating. DO YOU ALLOW FOR GOD TO BE YOUR RESTING PLACE? In such a chaotic world with so much that is going on, it is so easy to feel defeated. This song communicates the power and awe of God, and his ability to bring us freedom, resting, and security. So my prayer is that you allow your self to be captivated by its lyrics and message and pray to see how it directly applies to you and your life. Sorry for the Short and somewhat uneventful post-- more to come within the next week!

Christy Nockels: A Might Fortress
"Our God is, a consuming fire,
A burning holy Flame, with glory and freedom
Our God is, the only righteous judge,
Ruling over us with kindness and wisdom

We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You

A mighty fortress is our God
A sacred refuge is Your Name
Your Kingdom is unshakable
With You forever we will reign

Our God is, jealous for His own
None could comprehend, His love and His mercy
Our God is exalted on His throne
High above the heavens
Forever He’s worthy...

We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You

We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You
So we can set our hearts on You
Lord we will set our hearts on You!"

Reward for His Suffering

"May the Lamb of God recieve the reward for His suffering..." Such a quote is extremely powerful, however could be easily overlooked.
Upon listening to one of my favorite muscicians, Jonathan David Helser, over the past few days, these lyrics kept on being referenced. Although I admitt that at first the lyrics did not seem to draw my attention, it seemed as though they were a central theme througout his songs, thus becoming embedded in my memory. As I was singing in the shower one morning, as I often do, the lyrics seemed to resignate through out my mind. At first, I continued to sing, passing over the lyrics entirely, not granting them a second thought. However, a stirring began in my heart and I felt as though the Lord was whispering this verse for a reason.

As I began to meditate on the meaning and purpose of this line, I discovered its simplicity, and yet very intentional, meaning. The verse refers to the fact that the Lord is to recieve some kind of reward for his suffering. My thoughts immediately transitioned to questions such as: What reward? And who is to give it?

It seemed as though the more that I focused on these questions, the more that the Lord revealed to me. A quiet voice seemed to convey the message that we, his children, are both responsible for giving his reward and defining it. Realizing this, I began to pray. My expression of thought became, " Lord, how am I, an insignificant follower, supposed to reward the upmost high King who can have anything that He wants?" It then became blatenly clear to me that although I see myself as insignificant, my role to him is important, and for that matter, fully capable of giving a reward. The reward that he is to recieve is not that of a tangible gift, but rather a reward from our hearts.

You see, when Christians go about their everyday lives, it is easy to get lost in the chaos and completely miss the man who died for our lives to function accordingly; a man who made life and who is defining it daily. Such a man should be rewarded by his children. We can accomplish this reward through worship; we reward him through prayer; we reward him through a life of devotion and surrender. God sent his son, his ONLY son, to die for us. The lamb of God suffered tremendously for US, un-clean and sinful people, to save us from a life of damnation. As such, he deserves our reward.

He is not asking for a physical gift, but a spiritual one. A gift and a reward that resignates in the hearts of his followers. He is rewarded through our love for him. He died because he loved us, thus proving that love was the most important and valuable trinket he so desperatly wanted to protect. We honor him by offering our love to him as well as expressing it to others. HIS reward starts with OUR love.

"May the Lamb of God recieve the reward for his suffering...." Will you give him that reward?

Reviving the Hearts Around me

Psalm 69:32 says, " When the humble see it they will be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive!"
When reflecting on this verse, I am reminded of the longing of my heart; a longing that so desperately wants a revival and an awakening. I decided to create this blog as a way to not only to reflect and document the awakening that is stirring in my heart, but also to help ignite a flame inside the heart of others.

Talking with friends over the past few weeks, I have discovered a few things about students, or for that matter, followers of Christ in general, and their claims of faith. I have come to realize that Christians across the nation are settling for complacency in their walks with the Lord, and despite the desperate longing at their core to go deeper, refuse to do anything about it. Too often, we get stuck in routine. Our mind set becomes "Well I did my quiet time today and went to church on Sunday... I'm doing all that I can..." Such thoughts are false and in fact are complete and utter deception from the enemy. Quantities of something, like a quiet time, should not be the most important thing, but rather the Quality that is spent in the presence of God. Quiet times mean nothing if our minds are distracted with worldly worries or concerns. The heavenly father, a King by all means, deserves the focus of his people; of his children. Christians need to stop rejecting the voice deep inside of them that is longing for answers and yearning for freedom, and start responding to it. Such a response will awaken their hearts and faith to the revival that the Lord so desperately wants to ignite.

Psalm 69:32 references that when followers of Christ seek him, they will receive an awakening and revival in their hearts. So what are you waiting for? Awaken the love of a father; Awaken the love of a King; Awaken the love of a friend; Of a Shepard; Of a Lover. Respond to your heart and answer his call. Do not settle for complacency or get stuck in routine, but instead go after your beloved and pursue the awakening that he is stirring inside of you.